Working on something to use as a prologue for a short story and would like to get feedback. It’s a bit Paradise Lost in theme, something I’d like to lessen.
In the beginning, there were two beings; each as strong and powerful as the other. One, a master of reason and thought, came to be known as Rangelus. The other, a being mastered by their emotions and desires, came to be known as Pandemona. For eons the two existed, locked in intense conversation as each tried to understand the other.
Eventually though, neither could reconcile the almost insurmountable differences and at wits end, they decided to each make a creature that would represent them. Rangelus created something called an angel; Pandemona, a demon. After that, they created a kingdom for the two creatures to live in and called it Heaven.
For uncountable years the pair watched their creations interact. Samael, for that was the name the angel had taken, exhibited the same emotionless view of the world as his creator did. While Lilith, the demon, invariably took after her creator. Distressed that they would never understand each other Rangelus and Pandemona made more like Samael and Lilith hoping to create something that could bridge the gap, but each was the same as the next and eventually heaven was filled with two groups that lived in harmony but were never one.
Rangelus and Pandemona decided to live among their creations, to experience life from their perspective, to try and figure out why, out of thousands, no one could come up with the answer. That moment was when the trouble began.
Revealing themselves to their creations the two beings were revered as deities and they were placed on high in Heaven. Samael and Lilith came to them, asking what they could do. Rangelus and Pandemona responded, speaking to the dilemma that had been the very reason for their creations. The first pair listened intently and slowly a plan grew within Lilith’s heart.
That night she went to Samael and pressed her lips to his. It was the first time such a thing had happened between the two and a strange sensation passed between them. His eyes wide, Samael fled. For his body, which had never felt before, was painful to be within as tingling crawled over it.
For days he hid in the wilds his mind and body consumed by the need to have Lilith with him but terrified by that very need. He was content to hide for ever until he saw Lilith walking with Rangelus. Overcome with a sensation he had never experienced he lunged at them and attacked Lilith. Rangelus pulled Samael back and knocked him down, but the damage was done. The peace of understanding had been shattered with the first blows in all of history. Again Samael fled, leaving Rangelus and the injured Lilith behind.
This time however, it was not to the wilds he withdrew, but to his kin. Each that he came into contact with became awakened like him, their bodies feeling for the first time. After a matter of moments Samael had assembled a great army and marched on his creator.
Meanwhile Rangelus tried to save the life of Lilith, pouring everything he could into his friend’s creation. He feared he could do nothing and started to weep, an action that was totally foreign to the emotionless being. As his tears fell upon Lilith though, she opened her eyes again and took a breath. Rangelus breathed a sigh, but the deity’s relief was short lived as Pandemona found them. Flying into a rage, thinking that Rangelus had been Lilith’s attacker the two quarreled like never before. Believing she was the reason, Lilith withdrew to the edge of Heaven. Too late the two friends realized their mistake, and they could only watch as Lilith threw herself into the nothingness around Heaven. Pandemona blamed Rangelus in sorrow and then vanished, taking the demons and leaving the crestfallen Rangelus behind.
It was then that Samael and his army arrived and Rangelus was forced to face the corrupted creations. There was a bitter taste in the deity’s mouth as it listened to the charges brought against it and that emotionless being knew that it was feelings and not thoughts that caused such a thing. Rangelus cursed the rebellious angels, renaming them devils and casting them out of Heaven. Rangelus then returned, alone, to the place on high the being had been given by its now lost old life.
Settled in the seat it whispered to itself, speaking the words that it knew would ultimately reconcile the pain of the day. You may all return in time, I will not hold a grudge. Thought the way will not be easy and the day far from now I await your return, my friends. The answer need only be found and the way will be opened…