[Classwork] Type B Essay (Part 1)

Something for ENGL491, we’re supposed to write a “Type B” eassy, which is less architecture and more feeling. This is about half of what I’ve got done so far, which was mostly fueled by sorrow this morning, I hope to pen the second bit once I’m over the depressed.

The say you can do anything.
     When you’re growing up.
That you can be
     A Fireman
          A Scientist
     A Rock Star
          An Astonaut
     A Doctor
          The next Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and so on
Successful, if you know what I mean.

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Yet, things hardly go that way.
Between
     A school that hates you (for being curious no less!)
     Peers who are dicks (because you aren’t much of a boy)
     Politics, of all kinds (gotta love divorcees)
you start to lose interest in being anything you just wanna get threw get done get away and live your life on your own terms.

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Graduate high school with a
     two three nine
          two brothers, Wolf and Fox
               hurt feelings
                    a broken heart.
Get into college because of someone saw your potential (that’s read: pitied you). But hey, its college right? You need college to be successful right?

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Freshman year, already up to eyes in debt. Roommates are dicks. Friends with Ginko and Soy.
Meet girls.
     Love one.
          Tea Leaves, walks in the moonlight, and fires under the sky
     Get stuck with another.
          Stare into the Abyss and it stares into you—a mirror has no
               substance of its own
     Try a third, only to not be a “man”
          —because that’s what guys do right?
          —take virginity?
          —like,
               planting a flag
               finding a new world
               shooting the moon.
          I never really liked Columbus anyway.

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Sophmore year. Move in with Ginko and Tea Leaves, enjoy your first summer living your life. Confession. Rejection. Sword play in the rain leaves bloody cuts that dull the pain inside.

Buy a cycle, fix it up, own something for the first time ever and then, fight a landshark. Flying, spinning, bouncing, CRASH! Nothing good ever lasts.

Find the house a scam, move out. Move in with Ginko again. Helpless honesty breeds dissent. Move out to live alone. More debt just to have a roof. This is success right?

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Fox is military now, Wolf’s in the same boat as me.
Come home to darkness carrying a bag sodden with grease. Stare at my screen with limp fingers gripping a controller until I pass out. Sleep doesn’t come otherwise, too much thinking.
Too.
Much.
Thinking.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Wolf folds and moves home. Totally alone. College is a terrible thing. Whomped by a senpai, brews at his place. I hate the taste of Yuengling. Friends with his roomie Beard.
Meet a new girl.
     She’s shiny and full of fire—but with someone who couldn’t even give a rat’s ass about her.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Work. Game. Pass out.
Get up. Work. Class. Hang with Beard. Game. Pass out.

You can be successful, if you know what I mean.

Are you sure you can do this?
Are you sure you want to keep going?
Aren’t you just wasting money?
Just quit and go home.

NO! Even if it sucks, this is MY life. I can do this. Crashing into the wall is all I know. It’s all I’ve ever done.

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About Trevor Gulley

Trevor Gulley is a writer, cartoonist, and gamer. He works full time in the IT industry and judges Magic most weekends.

Posted on 10/08/2011, in Rants, School Work, Snippets and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Dude, I like it! Nice flow and full of feeling. Keep banging away at the wall, it will eventually give way.

    • Well that’s sort of what got me into this mess really, my GPA sucks so bad because I didn’t want to give up on Computer Science. Live and learn I suppose.

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