[Strongly Jaded Gamer] Adventures in Reviewing

Thanks to last week’s review and a couple of happenstances, I landed a gig doing reviews of Android based games. The reviews won’t show up here (they’re part of an e-zine), but I will likely talk about my first impressions and do the jaded gamer thing.

Which is sort of what I want to do today. In my quest to start my first assignment, I’ve gone through three games to finally pick up Wizards and Goblins. A tower defense game, you place wizards along paths to kill goblins before they get to the castle. Seems pretty straight forward and certainly not genre breaking with innovation. That said, I’ve only played two boards so who knows? I’ll hold off the jaded until it’s still doing the same three things at hour nine in a campaign. If it was just an arcade style game, then fuck all, but claiming a campaign means things grow and evolve–or are expected to at any rate and not doing so is a design fail.

As for the other games, I’d like to touch upon them really quick.

The first game I tried to play was Cthlulu Saves The World. I first heard about it when it was released on Steam, but never got around to playing it. For those not aware, it’s a classic 16-bit style RPG where you’re Cthlulu killing off the other Elder Gods. Yeah, I was sold on it from moment one. So when I got handed the assignment to review it on Android, I was stoked. I couldn’t wait to burn the Earth to the ground to save it. However, it seems like I’ll have to continue waiting. In the port from PC and XBLA the game seems to have been broken. Right now, it doesn’t get past the credits screen on Nexi (and won’t install at all on Pyre). It loads up, shows the dev logos, rotates to landscape, and then crashes. Very Sad 😦

The Second was Cyber Knights RPG. I didn’t pick up the Elite version since I wanted to make sure it worked before I dropped $2 on it. I played for about an hour last night and while the Fallout nostalgia is there, the game’s design is neigh unbearable. Primarily, my issue is with the map system. When you pull up the map screen (seen left) it gives you a list of locations on your current screen. If you click on one of them, you can auto path to it. You can also look at locations on other screens; however, you cant path to them or even to the map’s edge. So to go to a destination five maps away I have to: click on a space near the edge of the map, wait for my avatar to walk there, click on the map edge to scroll over, and then repeat until I’ve arrived at the target map. Now, if i was down in the action a little more and had more control over my character, it might not be so bad, but watching a guy walk from one screen to another one square at a time while nothing happens isn’t much of a game–especially when I’m only going to be playing for maybe five or ten minutes at a time. I mean, I enjoy sandbox games (and I am only an hour in), but this game just doesn’t do it for me. Which is why I’m not reviewing the Elite version, I don’t think I’d have anything positive to say–even in the frame of criticism.

In other news, League of Legends has added an AFK detection system for matchmaking queue. You now have to accept when a match has been found else the client drops you out of queue. There’s a new Cho’gath skin that contains 100% more wub-wub and will be legendary price. Zyra is, according to the 2k+ elo crowd, totally broken in terms of power and I have to agree. Her burst is absurd, especially her Ultimate. A good Zyra can drop someone faster than Flash with her full combo which goes off almost at once. Even LeBlanc’s gibs look tame in comparison. Even so, she didn’t get nerfed this patch.  The only other big thing is that Diana is still being tested on the PBE and is not live yet. On the PSO2 front, Sega of Japan pushed the “Crystal Dragon” patch this week, opening a new area with a multitude of enemies and bosses lying in wait. I’m just now wrapping up the Desert, so I can’t really speak too much else about it. PSOmods revealed a working English patch for the official JP client–the use of which can get your account banned (so I won’t link to it). The upshot is that in doing so, they discovered just how much data was still being stored server side and is thus impossible to translate with a patch. Good news for those who will being playing the localized version, not so much for us pioneers.

Aaaand I think that’s about it. Going to go play Friday Night Magic tonight. Might talk about M:tG next week now that I’ve had enough exposure to the 2013 Core Set.


About Trevor Gulley

Trevor Gulley is a writer, cartoonist, and gamer. He works full time in the IT industry and judges Magic most weekends.

Posted on 08/03/2012, in Gaming, Strongly Jaded Gamer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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