…and we’re back!
So I’m working on my Master’s thesis. Which, in July, seemed like it would be cake since I already had the pages done. It would just be a couple months of some editing, some fleshing and, some small plot adjustments…
Was I ever wrong.
Whole swaths of the story don’t make sense any more as I’ve ironed out the set-up and, aside from Lysander, it feels like no-one has a point in the story any more. I’m sure it’s just my state of mind, but the entire project looks hopeless right now. There are so many glaring flaws from how I first put this together and it feels like I might be worse off for having 125 pages done instead of ahead.
Like, take Rex’s plot line.
Originally, I had him sealing his memories in an attempt to sever connections with Shadow–which he thinks is a dark reflection of himself created by using magic to kill. While Rex still feels that Shadow’s influence on him is what caused the explosion that destroys Thenas–because in part it is, deJean forces Gar-Neil to attack Rex and the fight does damage the reactor…but it’s deJean that pushes the button to cause the meltdown–he doesn’t commit mind suicide to try and separate himself now, mostly because Marvm won’t help him with it (and because amnesia is a shitty story mechanic AND I already have one amnesiac who sort of has to be.
However, I still want that tension that he’s using great amounts of his energies to hold back what he thinks is a great evil within himself, but without Rex forgetting things, his whole state of mind in the investigation sections makes no sense. He knows what’s up, or at least thinks he does. Worse, he knows he’s the only one who knows and I don’t think that comes through anymore between changes in perspective and his relationship to Shadow.
In many ways, Rex’s plot line is like Bruce Banner’s. Both of them have a power inside they can’t control and it comes out under stress. They spend a lot of time trying to find an answer to what they are without endangering those around them and I think that’s the direction I need to go to some extent.
So what if Rex is still trying to apply some kind of seal and is using his Ebb to do it (Ebb being the magic of perception of reality). Perhaps he’s traveling around, selectively cutting memories out and just happens to keep stumbling into deJean’s preparations–except that shadow is leading him to these places to stop what is going on.
Perhaps I should elaborate on what Shadow is…Like his “sister” Arcanna, who represents Ebb, he is a living construct of the Flow (magic borne of memory and connection) and he is as much Rex as he is any individual in the rest of the world. He exists as a guardian of the Inner World–a tangible representation of the Collective Unconscious, essentially–and to guide the High Mage. He is present in the minds of any who might become an Oracle and it usually he who summons someone to Magken to take the seat. How Shadow appears to each High Mage potential is different and at sometime I need to figure out what Cerra sees.
And that’s just the plot issues. Switching the Rex chapters from first to third person means I’m losing all of his filter and there’s just this huge void left that I’m not sure how to fill. Maybe I’m just rambling at this point, but at least I feel a bit better…