Blog Archives

Where Things Are and The Fear of Soapboxing

It’s been nearly two weeks since I was let go. In that time I’ve:1212sketch

  • Finished my master’s Thesis.
    • There’s just one signature and some time in the mail between it and the 12/20 deadline.
    • I still need to reread my 3rd semester project to figure out my presentation and figure out where from my thesis I’ll be reading
  • Been to two interviews.
    • One for a position I was working on before I got laid off and the other at my LGS.
  • Applied all over the place
    • Seriously, I’ve got apps in places I’ve wanted to work at in all parts of the country. Haven’t heard anything back yet though…
  • Played some games of Magic with Steam Goblin an Izzet tempo build which is pretty close to the Izzet Fae I’m playing in modern.
  • Started a fresh run through Dark Souls as a Tanky Knight with an eye on PVE.

Even so, I don’t feel like I’m making any headway.

The job search still feels like I’m just shouting into the internet and hoping to be heard. I think it’s because I don’t look all that outstanding on paper and in an interview setting I’m a terrible bundle of nerves. Although I’m sure not updating this or forgetting about my other outlets/platforms/what have you isn’t helping. I’ve just never really been a huge social person and social media doesn’t really improve that. I don’t feel that I am any more worth listening to now than when I didn’t have a blog, or an MFA, or when I was employed. To me, I’m not living a life that will provide some massive insight to others. I suffer and scrape by, just like any other college grad that’s looking for work.

And, sure, I realize there’s a chicken/egg paradox about becoming someone that has a reason for people to  listen to them, but it’s hard to get past the cynicism that wells up when I see people who have no idea what they’re talking about get up in front of millions and spout nonsense. I might have smaller, perhaps even non-existent, audience…but I don’t want to be that kind of person. When dealing with strangers, it’s far more in my nature to listen, to observe, and maybe ask some questions to better understand, but I’ll typically just move along–especially on the internet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve typed out what might as well be the introduction of a ten page research paper as a comment only to say to myself, ‘Nah, not worth it.’

Maybe the realization that, in some small aspect, I’ve got a set of things I can talk about with authority will sink in once I’ve given my presentation. Which I need to go work on.


[Wednesday Ramblings — Feedback] How do I Community?

Check out all my RamblingsSeriously, what can I do to get out there as part of the community?

Does anyone want to do a post cast every so couple of weeks about Magic or Gaming or What Have You?

Do I need to get more serious about the Webcomic? Does anybody care about a  drama with midgrade art?

What can I do here on the blog to have more impact? What am I doing well, what am I failing at?

Do you know of any places that are interested in infrequent columnists? I don’t need a regular job right now, but I do need to get my name out there, so if you hear about any guest spots, let me know?

Beyond those musings, not much to report. Life is meh, the writing goes, and I don’t have enough hours in the day. Still, I want to do something creative with my life instead of just sitting at a desk, chasing a project with an endlessly moving target state. As such, I’m brushing up on my HTML, I’m going to start drawing again, I’m going to finish a story this year, and I’ll likely sleep about five hours a day to get it all done, but that’s what I’ve got to do to get out of where I am. The conventional route of plying experience to get a new job seems disinterested in my attempts to use it and so I will set out on my own and harness what creative talents I have to sail on.

Catch you Friday!

[Wednesday Ramblings] Tricky Social Media

So I wasn’t sure what to write about today until I opened my email this morning. But sure enough a topic that I could run with presented itself and here I am, typing away.

I’m fairly certain I’m not alone when I say I don’t understand how the whole social media thing works out. Like, I don’t get Twitter. It’s neat, its simple, and I’ve gotten used to how it works, but I can’t tell what it is your supposed to use it for. I think its for those kinds of thoughts you have at random and it certainly makes a good point of contact for other platforms to use—but others seem to have very different ideas about the whole affair. Case in point, I got a few emails this morning about new followers on twitter. Since I’m not rolling in followers, I like check out who’s followed me, as most of the time they’re fairly interesting.

From his tagline, the guy seemed like one of those cases, until I looked at his feed. Every single post was advertising—either for his blog, his books, or his newsletter. In a weeks worth of time, he hadn’t said anything that didn’t look like a spambot could have typed it just the same. There was no personality, only cold marketing. It was tragic and I didn’t follow him back.

But maybe that’s just me, I am pretty bad at the whole social media thing after all. I mean, I’ve got an account on all the usual suspects, but half the time I forget that any of them even exist. To avoid being one of those people with Social Media Diarrhea, I really only speak up when I’ve got something I to say that I feel is worth saying—not that I’m eating or picking my nose or watching that Dimitri Martin special for the fiftieth time. Unfortunately, most of those times is me asking for input on something or to post something like this—making me look just about the same as the first guy whose feed was just hype for things he’s done.

So to counter this I try and talk with people, but that has it’s own, perhaps more dangerous, pitfalls. On Twitter in particular its tougher, I have a hard time knowing when to respond to someone’s tweet. My drafts box is full of half typed responses that I decided to abandon as I wasn’t sure about the etiquette or don’t want to seem creepy by being that guy who responds to everything someone posts—a hard point when some of the people I follow only post once in a while.

I know this probably reads like “Trevor’s social anxiety makes it difficult for him, please pity him” but that’s not what I trying to say. What I’m trying to figure out is the balance between seeming like a selfish twit and being overtly creepy. I feel it’s a fair question seeing as social media isn’t going away and will likely continue to be a driving force of culture, if only online. Its this kind of stuff that I think about when I can’t sleep at night. I think deep down I’m an anthropologist but wasn’t sure what to do with that interest and focused it into writing.

Anyway, rambling now. So I’ll sign off before I hit the saturation point. See you next week!

EDIT: Is the topic image useful?